Regarding Trying

"Do or do not, there is no try."-Yoda

Since the premiere of The Empire Strikes Back in May of 1980, this quote has been used a motivation for people to plush themselves to their limits and succeed at whatever they attempt.

I know a lot of families where " I tried" is not an acceptable excuse for anything. You either did it or you didn't do it and if you didn't you better get it done.

And this is one of the most frustrating things I see parents do to their kids.

"But Kate, kids need to learn that they need to do things without excuses because one day they're going to have jobs and go to college and blah blah blah..."

Believe me, I understand that. However there is a very important point that everyone needs to realize.

Here it is.

You ready?

While one day these kids/teens might have jobs and families and go to college, right now THEY ARE STILL KIDS. They are still growing and learning and turning into the amazing person they will one day become. They still need a lot of things and one of those things is to know that no matter what, they are supported and loved as they grow.

And you know what growing means?

Mistakes.

Sometimes trying means making mistakes.

Mistakes need to be made as we grow so we can improve and become greater and better people. A bad grade on a geometry exam pushes a student to study harder next time. A failed friendship makes the friend reconsider who they want to be for others. A breakup makes individuals reevaluate who they are in and of themselves. Through all of it, school and friends and more-than-friends, we are making mistakes and learning from them. We are trying, and failing sometimes, so that we can be better.

Sometimes trying means "small" things.

Not everyone is good at the same things and what seems easy for one person could be difficult for another. Things many people do naturally like getting out of bed or eating or taking care of themselves properly can be hard for a good bit of people. Sometimes these people try and try and fail and fail and our society has lead them to believe that because they never succeed that they are not valuable. So they give up.

This needs to change.

We should not have people pushing themselves to have perfect bodies, perfect grades, perfect relationships, or perfect anything and while not all of this is caused by People Against Trying, a good bit of it could be prevented if we just accepted the perfect imperfections that we have been created to have.

I should not have felt pressure from my doctor to lose weight because he wanted me to have a more perfect body.

My friends should not feel pressure to get ridiculously high grades on everything and exhaust themselves in doing so because their parents only notice them of they do.

My friends should not be called "lazy" or "cows" because sometimes it's so incredibly hard for them to get out of bed.

My friend should not feel like she can never fail because if she does she'll no longer be able to do what she loves.

Therefore, I propose we have a new method, for children and adults.

I propose we encourage others to succeed but we praise them even if they don't quite get there. I propose we always remind them that failing is not the ultimate evil. I propose we tell them to try.

And if they can't do it this time, don't worry.

We can try again tomorrow.

"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.
So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever."-Neil Geiman